


Hurt That's Not Supposed To Show

by queenofourhearts



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 03:54:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4332888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofourhearts/pseuds/queenofourhearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina is an up-and-coming actress and possibly getting her big break with a new role. The downside is she's going to have to kiss someone on stage, someone who's not her girlfriend.</p>
<p>(Swan Queen Week 2015, day 2: jealousy)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hurt That's Not Supposed To Show

The city lights flash by outside the cab, but they don’t register with Emma. The blonde is too deep inside her own thoughts to notice anything, not even the way her shoulders are tense or how her hands have been clenched into fists since she left her Brooklyn apartment twenty minutes ago. She knew that this wouldn’t be easy, dating an actress who makes her living by convincing the audience of her feelings for whoever is her partner on scene at any given moment.

 

Still, it shouldn’t be this difficult, especially since they’ve only been dating for a few months. Emma is not normally a possessive person, unless it comes to food, but this whole thing makes her mind go crazy with imagining the worst scenarios that could happen. 

 

As she leans her head on the cool window she sighs, wishing she could just cancel tonight. It’s a disaster waiting to happen, but it’s Regina’s big night, premiere and all. 

 

Sure, it’s not like she’s wildly famous, but she’s made a name for herself in the Broadway and off-Broadway circuit and this play might be a stepping stone to bigger and better roles. Emma knows all this and it’s why she’s in this damn smelly cab on her way to see her girlfriend, her girlfriend, kiss someone else in front of 500 strangers. _Fan-fucking-tastic way to spend your Saturday night_ , Emma thinks. 

 

It’s not like she could’ve said no though. She never can when Regina asks for something. Well, maybe when she asks for half of Emma’s bear claw because really, she could’ve just asked her to buy two instead of saying she didn’t want anything except for coffee and then try to steal it. But whatever. So not the point right now.

 

Emma knows her girlfriend has worked her ass off to get to this point and she really wants to be the super supporting girlfriend who understands that some things just comes with the job, but it’s hard. No, they haven’t really been dating for that long, but these 9 weeks and 2 days (not that she’s counting or anything) are still the longest relationship Emma has had for years and she’s fallen hard for the sultry brunette with the beautiful eyes and soft, full lips and a laugh that could brighten even the darkest of days.

 

It would be one thing if she played opposite some dude, bad enough but at least manageable. But this is like a nightmare come true. Not only is it a play about lesbians in which Regina has to kiss another woman. No. The other actress, playing her lover, is a real asshole and Emma doesn’t trust her at all. Regina’s told her all about her, all about fucking Mal Drake, who, incidentally, is also Regina’s ex-girlfriend and the first woman she’d even been with. And now Emma has a night of watching them make out on stage ahead of her. Fuck that. Oh and also, a fucking premiere party afterwards where she’s going to have to mingle and be civil when already all she wants to do is to drag Mal into an alley and beat her up for what she did to Regina. And also for being a smug bitch probably.

 

“Alright miss, we’re here.” The cabdriver’s voice snaps Emma out of her thoughts and as she pays him and steppes out in the somewhat chilly New York City night, she feels the clump of nervousness in her stomach grow to dread. There are people mingling outside the entrance and she just feels so out of place. As a private chef she’s used to being in the background of fancy events, swearing and sweating as she’s trying to get all the food out in time, but here she’s just a guest and there’s nowhere to hide. She wishes she would have taken advantage of dating one of the stars of the play and brought a friend. This would all be so much easier to deal with if Ruby was there with her. Emma emits a deep sigh and straightens her back. Time to get this over with.

\------------------------------------------------

 

“Ms. Drake and Ms. Mills to the stage please, Ms. Drake and Ms. Mills to the stage.”

 

The speaker voice cuts efficiently through Regina’s focused thoughts. Okay. This is it. She takes a final look at herself in the mirror and hurries to fix her lipstick a last time. It has been a long few months of rehearsal. Working with an ex-girlfriend has not been a cakewalk, especially since they are supposed to play lovers. This role is the opportunity she has been waiting for for years however, so she couldn’t refuse when the producers had approached her agent. 

 

She hurries over to the stage entrance, sneaking trough the door and takes her place in the wings. The butterflies in her stomach flutters as she allows herself to get lost in her thought for a few minutes. 

 

Green eyes immediately come to mind and Regina smiles at the image of her girlfriend. After the relationship with Mal ended, she thought she would never again find someone willing to love her, not with her emotional baggage. And then Emma came into her life like a blonde whirlwind and just swooped her up in an instant connection. It’s true that the relationship is still pretty new, but Regina knows she has already fallen in love with the younger woman. Which makes tonight even more nerve-wracking.

 

A presence to her left brings her to open her eyes. 

 

“Hello Gina. You ready?” Mal Drake is standing beside her, looking out towards the stage.

 

“Mal.” She offers a curt nod. “Yes, as ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

The smirk on the older blonde’s lips tells Regina that there’s something else on her co-star’s mind.

 

“What is it Mal? I can see there’s something you’re just dying to get out, so get on with it. We have to be on stage in a minute.”

 

“Oh, my dear,” the older woman chuckles, “I am merely waiting for the moment you’ll realize that you’re throwing your life away and come back to me.”

 

With that Mal makes her way on stage, not waiting for Regina, who is seething and trying to rein her feelings in and get back into actress-mode. Fuck her. Regina knows that this is going to be a hell of a long night.

\---------------------------------------------------

 

Three hours later and Emma feels like she is going to throw up. She knew that watching her girlfriend suck face with someone else was going to be hard, but this was just painful. Thankfully the play is over and she’s waiting by the stage door for someone to let her in for the party. Her body is itching with the need to see Regina, to hold her and smell her and kiss her, because the last kiss on her lips should always be Emma’s and right now it’s not.

 

Shivering, she just has time to wonder when someone will let her in when the stage door flies open and Regina’s in front of her. Having removed her stage make-up and changed into a simple but classy black, knee length dress, she looks like a million dollars and Emma’s nausea and burning jealousy take a backseat to the admiration she feels looking at the brunette.

 

“Wow. You look…”

 

It’s all she manages to get out before those full lips are on hers, toned arms around her neck and a warm body pressing into hers. As they break the kiss, Regina keeps her forehead pressed against Emma’s.

 

“I missed you darling.” It’s no more than a whisper, but it sends a whole different type of shivers down the blonde’s spine and she hugs Regina close, for as much comfort as support. The brunette never fails to make her knees go weak.

 

They make their way inside, fingers intertwined, and head towards the party where the rest of the cast is already mingling with reviewers and a whole bunch of big shots from the theatre world that Emma’s never heard of before. She’s introduced to a few of them as they stop the couple to praise Regina for her performance, and even though Emma’s heart is swelling with pride, there’s a part of her that just can’t relax. She catches herself more than once scanning the room for a certain other blonde. Her body is tense, her fight or flight instinct unfortunately leaning more towards the first option.

 

It’s not until about an hour later, however, that a well-manicured hand lands on Regina’s shoulder and a raspy voice says: “Aren’t you going to introduce me dear?” Emma grinds her teeth at the sound but turns around and stretches out a hand when Regina answers with an “Emma, meet Mal, my co-worker. Mal, meet Emma, my _girlfriend_ ”, extra weight put on the last word.

 

“Come now, Regina, I’m much more than a co-worker, aren’t I?” Mal shoots back, piercing Emma with a conceited stare, a smirk firmly on her lips. “After all, I was the first woman to make you…” Her monologue is cut short by the now furious brunette’s hiss. “Cut it out. You are embarrassing not only yourself, but Emma and I as well. Leave us alone!”

 

The older blonde finally releases her focus on Emma, only to turn to Regina and run a hand down her arm. “Oh my. The kitten has claws I see. But do be realistic Gina, think of the life I can offer you compared to this… person.” She scoffs as she nods her head in Emma’s direction. 

 

The younger blonde is fuming; clenching her fists so hard her nails are digging in to her palms and her face burning with humiliation and anger. She knows that Mal is probably right. Being a private chef, while it sounds fancy, means working crazy hours and being grossly underpaid for the amount of work one does. She knows her stuffy Brooklyn apartment is most likely a dump compared to where Mal lives, even compared to Regina’s own apartment. 

 

Humiliated and with tears threatening to fall, Emma whips around and marches out, down the stairs and out of the same door where she had shared that sweet moment with her girlfriend barely an hour earlier. Being out of earshot she lets the anger rip through her as she yells at the brick wall of the building opposite the alley. “FUCKING FUCK SHIT ASSHOLE!!” She wants to hit something, or maybe even kick the wall, but one glance down at the shoes she’s wearing tells her that that would probably only lead to a couple of broken toes and the need for a new pair of high heels. 

 

The tears flow freely now and she leans back against the wall she considered kicking just a moment before when the realization hits. She’s just embarrassed Regina in front of her colleagues and a bunch of other people. This was supposed to be her big night and Emma just turned on her heel and left. She should probably suck it up and go back in, pretending she just went to the bathroom or something. But that would mean having to come face to face with that fucking blonde snake of a woman again and that would not end well, but rather with scraped knuckles and a night in jail. Emma knows she doesn’t react well to being provoked, so instead she sighs and stays outside, waiting for the brunette to come looking for her.

\------------------------------------------------------------

 

When Regina hasn’t shown ten minutes later, Emma’s thoughts are running wild. The tears that had stopped for a while come back in force as cold realization hits her. Regina hasn’t come looking for her because she doesn’t care. She’s probably up there laughing at her childish exit together with… The blonde can actually feel her heart breaking, crushed by an invisible hand. Not being able to stand waiting for someone she knows won’t show she starts walking. 

 

Cabs drive past and she knows that she’ll have to hail one sooner or later, no way is she walking all the way to Brooklyn, but right now she just needs air and she needs to keep moving so that the crushing weight of sadness won’t kill her. While walking, Emma can’t help but think of how just a couple of days ago she had woken up with her nose buried in chocolate tresses, a warm, soft body pressed against her front, and how she had thought she was the luckiest woman in the world. The thought keep the tears flowing down her cheeks, even though the blonde is wiping furiously at them, hating displays of weakness in public.

 

“Emma!” 

 

A voice cuts through the sounds of traffic and people bustling on the sidewalk. So now she’s hallucination as well. _That’s just pathetic_ , the blonde frowns and shakes her head slightly.

 

“Emma wait, please!”

 

There it is again, louder this time, and the voice even sounds out of breath. What the hell? _Did I have an aneurysm from crying too hard or what the fuck is going on?_ The blonde is so convinced that Regina doesn’t want anything more to do with her that she just keeps walking, head down, completely missing what’s going on behind her. The brunette is running through the crowd in her high heels, desperate for the blonde to turn around.

 

Regina bumps into several people on her way towards Emma, but she doesn’t even bother apologizing. The only thing on her mind being catching up with her girlfriend, she really couldn’t care less about a few idiots being in her way. 

 

Finally within distance, Regina reaches out a hand and gently grabs the blonde’s upper arm. Emma jumps, immediately defensive to the surprise contact, not knowing who the hand belongs to. Turning around, she’s ready to rip the owner of the hand a new asshole until she’s staring incredulously into worried dark eyes.

 

“R- Regina?” the blonde croaks, her voice hoarse after sobbing. 

 

The sight of Emma, red eyed with tears still trickling down her cheeks hits Regina hard. She has never seen the blonde so vulnerable, and knowing it’s because of her makes her sick to her stomach. 

 

“Oh Emma,” she whispers as she gathers the blonde in her arms, stroking her golden hair and placing small kisses on her cheek. “My Emma.”

 

“Y- you didn’t come for me,” Emma feebly whispers into the brunette’s neck. “I thought…”

 

“I’m so sorry my darling, I’m so sorry.” Regina croaks, feeling Emma’s tears soak the shoulder of her dress make her own eyes gloss over.

 

“Where were you? Where you w- with her?” They’re both painfully aware of who Emma is referring to.

 

Regina shakes her head. “No. When you left I went after you, but the director jumped in front of me and introduced me to an important producer. I tried to excuse myself but they just wouldn’t be quiet.” The frustration over that particular event is obvious in the brunette’s voice and it makes Emma feel a bit better, her heart not quite so deflated anymore.

 

“Anyway, by the time they finally let me go I didn’t know where you where, so I looked around the building first, you know the dressing rooms and such. I was worried and I tried to call you when I couldn’t find you outside either but you never answered. I walked out to the road and caught a glimpse of your hair and called out. I am just so relieved I found you Emma!”

 

Emma, who swears she just checked her phone before, pulls it out of her purse once more. Surely enough, the display shows two missed calls from Regina. 

 

“I’m sorry Regina, I must’ve put it in do-not-disturb mode, I- I didn’t…”

 

“Emma.” Regina cuts her off, cradling her face in her hands. Brown eyes meet red-rimmed green and the brunette places a soft kiss of the tip of Emma’s nose. “Don’t worry about it. I’m here, I found you.” 

 

The blonde pulls her girlfriend into a fierce hug, never wanting to let her go and hoping that it can express how sorry she is about her behavior, because she’s not sure she would be able to actually verbalize those thoughts right now. 

 

When they release their hold on each other they step back only inches, still needing to be close. Regina’s fingers are caressing the back of Emma’s neck gently, and the blonde’s own hands are clasped on the small of Regina’s back.

 

“Let’s go home baby, I need lots and lots of cuddles,” Emma says with a small smile, the crushing weight on her heart lifted. “I’m sorry I got so jealous.”

 

“Please believe me darling, I don’t want anything to do with that woman. It’s only you. In fact…” Regina lets her hands travel down toned arms and clasps Emma’s hands in hers. 

 

“Emma Swan. I love you. I love you to the moon and back.”


End file.
